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Monday, September 24, 2007 |
Ah, I don't feel like blogging all that much today. Where is my motivation?
My weekend was nice. I spent Friday working from home and it was just awesome. Lots of time to focus and just do my work without the constant interruptions and endless meetings. I wonder if I can set up my schedule so that at least once a week I can work from home. Maybe after this huge deadline passes I can mention it.
Saturday was my new nephew Kai's one month celebration. I went to Babies R Us to pick up a gift for him and I must say, the amount of stuff you can buy babies nowadays is just ridiculous. I knew so many who grew up without all this stuff that turned out just fine, but then again, I'm sure if the time comes when I'm a father, I'd be the first to spoil my kid as well. Perusing up and down the aisles, it was nice imaging what it would feel like to have a family to raise.
Kai's growing up nice and strong, and he's already lifting up his neck and looking around. I took a few pictures of the lad, especially with my step bro cradling his son on his forearm like a football. Absolutely adorable! I'm so happy for him and his wife. Such a blessing like that couldn't happen to two nicer people.
It's so funny though, because ever since I've been lifting, everything seems so light. And holding little Kai in my arms, he seems especially dainty. I don't know if it's the lack of confidence or not, but he always cries when I hold him. Must be something in the way I'm grabbing him.
While I'm sitting there talking to Thao, he asks me how old I am, to which I tell him. So now let me ask this, should I be flattered or insulted that everyone thinks I'm younger than I really am? Anyway, Thao then asked me if I'd be interested in a Christian girl. Turns out he's been going to church a lot lately and I guess he sees something in me that would appeal to Christian girls. Hmm, interesting. I've always had a thing for Catholics, so why not, right? Of course I just laughed at him and gave him my cell, but I doubt I'd ever take him up on the offer. Something about it just doesn't seem right.
Afterwards I just went home for a quiet Saturday night at home watching the USC football game. Ah, Southern California. Still my team, now and always.
Sunday I went to run some errands. Went to Home Depot to look for a washer and dryer for my uncle. I swear, I have absolutely no game! Grrrr. Afterwards, picked up some moon cake for the parents and then met up with them and we all went to eat with my visiting step brothers and step sisters. A nice pleasant end to a nice pleasant weekend.
Hmm, you know how girls all say that want a guy with ambition? I think that's so lame. Ambition is so subjective. The man who wants to be a loving father and wonderful husband, putting family first and foremost, is just as ambitious as the one who works 24/7 to bring home a huge paycheck. Success is there in both cases, only in different areas. And either way, each man comes up short in the eyes of girls. One doesn't spend enough time at home, and one isn't filthy rich. So how do you go and define ambition then?
There was an article today that states that a person who reduces his sleep from seven hours a night to five hours a night almost doubles his chance of heart disease. What the heck have I been doing this past month then eh? I wonder if I should switch my workouts to nights instead. It's funny, because I remember why I decided to work out in the mornings in the first place. To be able to talk to her at nights. Now I don't even hear from her, day or night.
Aw well, that's life. I don't make the rules, but I'll play by them.
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Friday, September 21, 2007 |
It's raining, yeah! I love the sound of raindrops dripping outside my window sill. So peaceful.
I dreamt of Thu several times this week, and it was always the same thing... a simple dream where she would call me or message me, saying how sorry she was for not communicating all this time. Dreams are really heartbreaking sometimes.
It's been a month of 6am wakeups and I seem to be doing ok. I do have to ask myself though, what's my motivation? What am I working so hard for?
Tickets to Chicago and hotels are booked. I'm stoked for this little weekend getaway. Next thing I have to do is get tickets to Wicked. It's about time I get to see that show eh?
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Friday, September 14, 2007 |
Wow, this girl is amazing. I love this melody, especially around the one minute mark. Definitely talented. Does anyone know this tune? I'd love to have an actual orchestration of it!
So I've been in a reflective mood lately. I was thinking back on my ex girlfriends, thinking that despite my best efforts and how hard I tried, I couldn't make them love me forever. Eventually their eyes and their hearts wandered. And then they were gone. Quite sad don't you think? That after almost thirty years, I've failed to keep someone's love for any prolonged period of time?
I had this dream awhile back. I was talking to Thuy on the phone and I was pretty disappointed that we've drifted so much this past year. I remember thinking to myself that weren't we at least still friends? At one point, I even asked her if she was ever going to give me her number so that I could contact her rather than always waiting for her call. I never got an answer before waking up. It's funny how my dreams reflect my real thoughts sometimes doesn't it?
Though the past month has been pretty pleasant with many fond memories established, it has only served to remind me of how lonely I am. I guess that I'm not really that strong. Rather than finding contentment in my life, I'm always longing for a loving relationship that I may never find. And really, what can you really call a person who's happiness rests on the heels of someone else other than weak?
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Thursday, September 13, 2007 |
~ The Wind's Nocturne ~
Wishing on a dream that seems far off,
hoping it will come today.
Into the starlit night,
foolish dreamers turn their gaze,
waiting on a shooting star.
But, what if that star is not to come?
Will their dreams fade to nothing?
When the horizon darkens most,
we all need to believe there is hope.
Is an angel watching closely over me?
Can there be a guiding light I’ve yet to see?
I know my heart should guide me but,
there's a hole within my soul.
What will fill this emptiness inside of me?
Am I to be satisfied without knowing?
I wish, then, for a chance to see...
now all I need,
is my star to come...
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