Everyone has their own life story, accomplishments, worries, loves, losses, secrets, adventures, and reasons that you know nothing about. Therefore, take the time to ask before you take the risk to judge, because your opinion may change once your understanding is clear.

So true, so true. I have to wonder, can a nineteen year old really grasp the full meaning of this message that she wrote, or is it merely something that sounds cool to her? I don't remember being that mature when I was that age, but then again, I sometimes question my own maturity at twenty nine.

What a hectic weekend. I spent Friday morning running errands and getting ready for Ruthy's birthday party that night, which was to be held at the Newport Beach bonfire pits near the pier. Driving down the 55 towards Balboa, a lot of memories resurfaced. It's been a long time since I've been to a bonfire. A really long time. I was still with my ex at the time, and I was reminded of those carefree days at UCI when all our friends would meet up and go out for some nightly bonfires at Corona. Since then, I've tried here and there to get others to agree to a Friday night at the beach, much to no avail.

I once asked MCAT Girl if she would join me some evening out at Corona to just relax and sit in front of the fire and enjoy each other's company, but as usual, she said no.

The beach was wonderful. The ocean roared as wave after wave crashed into the sand as high tide came in. And the salty sea air was utterly refreshing, waking my senses and delighting my spirit. Seeing the sun set and then slowly walking out to the sea, letting the water rise above my ankles as my feet sank into the sand, I just stood there for a while, thinking to myself. I thought about a lot of things really. Where I came from, and where I'm going. The people that have come and gone in my life and how much has changed and how much has stayed constant. I thought of her and felt the disappointment of not hearing from her even though she told me she would call during my time off. I felt the slight pang of loneliness as I was enveloped by the sadness of the sea.

Once nightfall fell and the fires were going, my friends and I just gathered around and talked to each other in a way that we haven't done in years. Theresa was there and it was the first chance I got to see her since her wedding. We talked about her honeymoon in the Bahamas and I commented on how much I loved the beauty of her wedding ceremony. We discussed our recent trip to Europe, which seemed like ages ago, and talked about the possibility of a future trip across Asia. Before we knew it, it was 10 o'clock and time for the beach to close. Time sure does fly when you're having fun. I've always said that nothing beats out good company in life and I mean it.

There was a bit of excitement before leaving. The group next us was busted by beach patrollers for bringing bottles of alcohol in their cooler. As I listened in on the questioning, it turns out that they were all minors too. How dumb are kids these days? Seventeen year olds coming to a public beach and drinking in the open? Part of me feels for them though because I remember what it was like at that age, thinking that you knew everything and being in a rush to grow up. It isn't until now that I realize how much I took for granted back then and how we can never get that time back. Still, pretty dumb.

Afterwards, we all headed over to Yogurtland and then back to my house for a little more chit chat. Again time passed by too quickly and before you know it, it was past 1 in the morning. Seeing as several of us had an early morning, we called it the night.

I awoke at 6 thin next morning to get ready for our trip down to San Diego for ComiCon 07. Luckily for me, I wasn't the one driving so I got another quick nap in the car. When we got there, I was wary of the line, the memory of last year's epic wait still fresh in my head. Turns out, pre-registration is the key, for we didn't even have to wait. We basically walked right into the convention center to pick up our badges. Awesome.

It was my second time so I was used to the fervor, but I'm sure M was pretty overwhelmed. We saw the world exclusive premiere of The Bionic Woman while we were there as well as Michelle Ryan. Accents on a pretty girl are always a plus! I had wanted to catch the Transformers, MOTU 2002, and Smallville press conferences and Q&A sessions, but we needed to leave early to make it back in time for Carrie's birthday in LA at night, so we spent the rest of the time wandering the Exhibition Hall. A shame too because they were unveiling the new Supergirl and Erica Durance was supposed to be there signing autographs. Who else did we miss? Jessica Alba, Kate Beckinsale, and Olivia Munn, just to name a few. I hope Carrie appreciates it! It was cool though. M and I wandered the huge hall end to end, checking out all the vendors and exhibits, viewing the newest line of collectibles and taking pictures of all the various costumes that the attendees were wearing. Kotobukiya's Final Fantasy Masterpiece line was on display, and Cloud and Sephiroth were simply amazing. I took a lot of pictures of those two especially. Even M had to admit the detail was astonishing and I told myself that I have to get them one day. Priced at $400 each though, which totally hurts. They also showed the play action Aeris finally. Beautiful. Ah Aeris and Tifa, the story of my life. The one other piece that I really liked was DC Direct's partnership with Kotobukiya in producing a Supergirl figurine. Now that my Disney collection is growing and I'm starting a Lladró cabinet, I'm considering a third collection as well, comprised of comics and anime, specifically Superman and Final Fantasy. I know, pricey hobbies. We left San Diego at 4, which even though was a good seven hours, was no where near enough time to even put a dent in all the offerings of the convention. Till next year.

The drive back was mostly uneventful with some traffic. I got a little sleep, but woke up in time to see this truck next to our car lose it's wheel! There we were on the freeway going about 70, when all of a sudden, that wheel came off and M had to slam on the brakes. The wheel continued rolling in the lane next to ours for quite some time! We got back to Irvine at about 6, which gave me and M some time to shower and freshen up for the birthday party, which was at Luna Park Restaurant near downtown LA. Carrie's cousins were there, as well as their significant others, and I couldn't help but feel a bit like a 13th wheel, looking around at all the couples. But I'm a good wingman and wanted to be there for M so he wouldn't' feel too much pressure. Besides, Carrie considers me her friend too, so what kind of friend would I be if I missed her birthday? The food was alright, but it wasn't very fulfilling. And not just for me either. Several people said that they were still hungry afterwards, which after almost a four hundred dollar bill is kind of sad.

After dinner, we all headed over to The Golden Gopher, this bar right along the heart of downtown LA, for some more drinks and to cut her cake. Poor M was a little worried about parking in the area and walking at that time of night, but it goes to show the value of friendship that he was willing to take the chance just so that we could all be there for her when she cut her cake. By now, we were both pretty drained after the long day. M was so out of it that he didn't realize that he left his thousand dollar camera just sitting there in the back seat as we went in. The bar was cool, just sitting there with friends and talking, but again, I felt a little odd being the single man out of a huge group of couples. Still, I smiled and enjoyed myself. At the end of the night, I drove home because M was feeling pretty dreamy from the long day.

I've had these eerie premonitions of me getting into a car accident, a major one where the car next to me just slams into my car. I hope it's not some bad omen.

The morning today was just me doing housework. Gardening, watering the lawn, etc. Have I said that lizards freak me out? I want to remodel the back yard but man, where am I going to get the money for that? You know what the best thing about Jellyhead is? She likes my house the way it is. No major changes. Cozy she says. And she likes me the way I am too. I think about everything I've done in my attempt to win MCAT Girl's heart and I can't help but feel like I tried too hard, acting out of character at times and not being myself. I think I tried too hard to impress her, always worrying about if what I was doing was good enough for her, and that's too bad really. I don't think she ever really got to see the real me. Not all of me at least.

Big D called me up to this afternoon to get some smoothies. While we were at DV, Sheree was there and we all took the opportunity to play cards together. I was cool just shooting the breeze with her. Hmm, I seem to really like the simple things like having pleasant conversations with friends huh? Big D told me he's having a huge craving for ribs, so I told him to call me up one of these nights and we'll go get some Tulsa Ribs.

Afterwards, I decided to put the top down and just go cruising down PCH. The salty night air and the ocean breeze was really nice and I ended up driving from Huntington Beach all the way down to Laguna. A beautiful night. The only way it could have been better was if the love of my life was there by my side holding my hand and enjoying it all.

Two weeks. Have I really not written anything in the past two weeks? Has it been merely because I come home exhausted, that after everything else I have to do, I find that I have no strength left to write these lengthy entries? Or is it something more, a sign that I've lost my motivation to write in this journal? I've lost my inspiration and my muse after all and it seems sometimes that I have no desire to keep writing. But a part of me feels the need to express myself, if nothing more than just a means to vent and rant out my emotions. It's also a way for me to look back and reflect on my life years from now.

Let's see, where should I begin? I took my family to the Orange County fair a couple of weekends back. Some people question what's the big deal about the fair, why we always go year after year if it's all just the same thing. I don't think it's the fair itself that draws us, it's more like a family bonding experience. Or in the case of friends, just a chance for us to hang out and enjoy the atmosphere in each other's company. This year, in addition to my parents and my sister, my cousins came. Hombre also joined us, as well as Coffeeboy's girlfriend. No rides this year, but we played more games than usual. I tried my hand at that sledgehammer game and man, that thing is rigged. I hit the life out of that block and yet was no where near the amount needed to win a prize. Eh, it's all technique I guess. We played the basketball games and Hombre managed to win a big prize for the Little Weeg. Speaking of which, she managed to get us a few free games as we were walking by some booths. Cute girls totally get away with stuff! We ate the usual fair food: ribs, drinks, funnel cake. Coffeeboy took the opportunity to try out a deep fried snickers, which was ridiculously rich. The sad thing about him was his lack of money, which limited the amount of food and activities that he and his girlfriend could partake in. Kind of sad really, and I question why he even wanted to bring her if he couldn't afford it. But alas, I understand as well. How often have I overextended myself all in the name of love? I guess it's kind of cool that she's the kind of girl who doesn't need to be constantly spoiled to be happy. Not very many of those out there.

I was out in the garden one night when I got a phone call from my cousin from Vietnam. Apparently he was in town for some business and wanted to come visit me and my mom. Over the next few days, my step dad took him and his companions around shopping during the day and then we all met up for dinner at night. It was kind of weird because this cousin is from my birth dad's side and yet my step dad didn't feel uncomfortable at all showing him around, which is cool.

As we were sitting over dinner one night, my mom was recounted to my sister and me how she first met my dad. She was working as a nurse in the hospital in the maternity ward handling the newborns. I guess it was really crowded and she wasn't paying attention, yelling to her friend for some assistance washing a baby. Apparently, her friend didn't hear, but my dad, who happened to have the same name as her friend, thought my mom was talking to him and so just did as she asked without question. When she asked him later about it, why he helped when he didn't even know her, he merely smiled and stated that he just thought she was asking him and who was he to say no? Ha ha, I can totally picture me doing the same thing. I am my dad's son.

When I was looking at my cousin, I could see my dad in his face. The two look so much alike. I know a lot of people say that I really look like my dad as well, but for me, looking at my cousin there was like looking into a time machine and seeing my own father before me. Very surreal. Anyway, when my cousin left, his last words to me were love and take care of my mom. It's nice to see that my strong family values come from both my mom and my dad's side.

My step brother and his wife gave birth to a baby boy. Kai. It's so funny, as I was there visiting them he had little Kai sitting up indian style. To see something that tiny sitting in that position is just plain hilarious. Afterwards, my sister was all saying that I should get married and have kids already. Ha ha, funny.

Work's been pretty fatiguing lately. Frankly, I'm sick and tired of people questioning why work is so tough on me. Do they think that what I do isn't hard? Or do they think I slack around and rarely stressed? I'll be the first to admit that what I do isn't the same thing as brain surgery, but I challenge anyone to step into my shoes and successfully balance and complete everything that is asked of me, considering how broad the range of computer science is. I swear, I can complete work in a week where it would take others months, so don't go telling me that what I do is easy.

I'm being stretched in so many different directions. Just off the top of my head, there's well over ten different projects from different departments that have asked for my help, not to mention the normal crap I have to deal with. To make matters worse, I've been enlisted to attend as many of the administrative, planning, and implementation meetings for this new proposal as possible. I checked my e-mail today to find numerous messages asking for my presence and there's already several days I can see where I'm just sitting in a meeting room from morning till night. What the hell? How am I supposed to finish everything with more and more stuff thrown at me and more meetings taking up my time???

Needless to say, I've felt drained lately, and the fact that I seem to be journeying through life alone without a significant other by my side to make it all worth while is all the more deflating. So I took three sick days yesterday, today, and tomorrow off to handle all my home issues and just recharge my batteries.

Katelynn has been begging me to take her to Disneyland and so I took the chance yesterday with my day off to take her and Kenneth. I showed up at my cousin's house early in the morning though to find that Kenneth didn't want to go. As they were getting ready, I noticed a scrambled Rubik's cube and picked it up, at which point Kenneth came bouncing over to look at me. I smiled and told him that if I could solve it, then he would have to go to Disneyland with me, to which he said ok. Little did he know how proficient I am with that puzzle, and before you know it, I handed that amazed kid a solved cube. So we were off.

We get to Disneyland and the whole time, both kids are just talking back and forth with me and with each other. I couldn't help but just feel so paternal with them, and I imagined what it would be like if that were my own child I was taking. You hear all these stories about poor fathers who don't make time for their children. I say it's all crap. If I can do it for a four year old and a five year that aren't even my own kids, there should be no excuse for fathers not to make time for their own children. Frankly, it's sad that their own father didn't take them when he turned out to be home for the day.

What an experience it was! The awestruck look on Katelynn's face as we flew through Peter Pan's Flight was priceless. The way Kenneth looked back and forth at the singing animatronics of It's A Small World and completely memorized was a feeling I can't even describe. And as we walked the hallways of the Haunted Mansion, the two kids cowering close to me, it was amazing. Seeing these kids experience the spectacle and magic for the first time, it was the most rewarding feeling I've felt in a long time.

Walking the streets of Disneyland hand and hand with two little children, and me, a complete oaf of a person, must have been a funny sight to see. And yet no one seemed to think anything of it. Quite the contrary, I got so many smiles and positive attention that it was almost embarrassing. People kept coming up to me and saying how cute they both were and as we stood in the lines, I could see people pointing down at them and just smiling. Is that what a proud parent would feel like? I must say, those kids are a complete babe magnet too! Katelynn wanted some cotton candy and so I bought some snacks for the two of them and we went to sit down where they could eat and relax. As I'm sitting there just watching them, I noticed this girl next to me with a baby of her own. Next thing you know, we introduced ourselves and started talking. Her name was Hilary and I asked her if that was her brother she was feeding, and she laughed, commenting how most people think she's a teen mom. Turns out, he was her cousin and she was watching him as her group rode Splash Mountain. She asked about me and I told her that I was taking my niece and nephew to Disneyland. It was their first time, which she said was sweet. When he parted ways, Katelynn turned to her and waved bye bye which made her smile. Like I said, complete babe magnet.

We left the park at about 6 because Kenneth was getting cranky and tired, wanting to go home. So no fireworks, but perhaps another time. Poor Katelynn even started missing her mom a bit, but as we were walking out, she was already asking me when the next time I could take her was. When I asked when she wanted me to come, she said tomorrow. Ha, cute kid. Afterwards, I headed over to my parents to take them out to dinner. They flew off for a European vacation this morning and so I wanted to spend last night with them before they left. Earlier in the week, we all went out to eat to celebrate my sister's upcoming birthday. Nothing big, just the immediate family, because her birthday will fall on a day when they're still on vacation, so they wanted to have a little celebration before hand. What did I get her? A pink Nintendo DS, complete with custom written software programmed by yours truly. She loved it so much that I heard she spent the entire night playing the various games I gave her.

It's pretty obvious that I love Disney and I hate people who claim that Disney is just for kids. I'm pretty sure that if I ever end up with a girl, she has to share in my interest there as well. That was what was so great about my past relationships. They all enjoyed Disneyland as well, though I sometimes question if they liked it before me or was it merely my influence. Whatever the case though, they still enjoyed being there and so that was cool. Anyway, I like collecting the Walt Disney Classics Collection line of fine figurines. I already have thousands of dollars worth of porcelain statues, and recently I got my hands on an authentic WDCC glass display cabinet. It was delivered today and needless to say, I'm completely stoked. It looks amazing in my living room and now my pieces all have worthy home to be shown off. Now I have to find a place for my recently acquired Lladró pieces!

So I finished reading the last Harry Potter book. Actually I finished it that weekend for fear of spoilers. I had spent a couple of days before its release rereading the sixth book and re-familiarizing myself with where the story left off, and it was good because I got to read the final book with all the details still fresh in my head. So how was it? I don't want to ruin anything for anyone so if you don't want anything spoiled for you, skip to the end of this paragraph. Basically, I enjoyed the book. My theories on Snape were completely dead on, and when I think back, seeing his actions in the sixth book just reaffirmed my belief that he was indeed good. Finding out his motivations just served to make him a deeper character, and I have to admit that the way he carries on his love for that long is so eerily reminiscent of my own views on love. I've always liked his character but I like him even more now. Death-wise, there were rumored to be two deaths. Boy was that an understatement. So many people were killed. I felt shock for Moody, sadness for Dobby, and disbelief for Fred. The death of Tonks and Lupin totally caught me off guard too. All the other deaths didn't affect me as much, but these main characters that I've journeyed with and grown to care for, those were difficult. As I finished and closed the book, I felt the same depressing conclusion I do at the end of Lord Of The Rings. I felt depressed and was melancholy. All in all, a worthy conclusion to a series that I thought started off pretty horribly.

I was out with M tonight and I made a total bonehead move. I was chatting with this girl and she told me that her feet where totally hurting. Rather than being a gentleman and offering her a seat, I merely replied that's too bad. Goober! I swear, once this spreads, no one's going to let me live this down. It will be up in the annals of bonehead moves, topped only by Tony's uhhhhhh response a few years back.

On the way home, we were listening to my latest batch of songs on my ipod. I finally got that song Two Words by Lea Salonga. It's that beautiful song she serenaded her husband during their wedding ceremony, revolving around those two simple words: I Do. Best. Wedding. Song. Ever. She only recently released a CD with this song and I was was happy to finally get my hands on it. I asked him if he'd think me crazy if I found MCAT Girl's address and sent her this CD. He laughed, but I can't remember if he ever answered my question.

I have a hectic couple of days coming up. Ruthy's birthday at Balboa. Comicon 07 down in San Diego. I hope Olivia Munn is there, she's totally hot! We all marvel that a girl that fine is more of a geek than most of us. And then up to LA at Luna Park for Carrie's birthday Saturday night.

And last but not least... wow, where do I even begin? Why have you come back into my life? I was amazed to see your phone call and even more amazed at myself for answering it. You left so long ago and you told me to forget about you. As we talked and reminisced on old times, I was reminded of that happiness so long ago. Those were indeed simpler times wasn't it? A lot of fine memories. Wonderful feelings rekindled. That birthday gift, actually those gifts, that I gave you, I'm touched that after everything, that you still have them. I'm happy that there's some memories that have become so ingrained in your head that you haven't forgotten, that I'll always be tied to you somehow. And I'm happy for you, glad that you've found happiness. After all, I've always wanted the best for you.

Too freaking tired to spell check and proof read. If I have any mistakes, forgive me. It's 4:30 in the morning and I really need my sleep. Good night.

On this day, I will marry my best friend; the one I laugh with, live for, dream with... love.

I took last Friday off from work. Meetings upon meetings upon further meetings. Crap piled up on one another. I needed to get out of there for a day and just recharge my batteries. I had a pleasant lunch with Hombre. Saw his typical reaction with Yoojin. From there, I headed to the mall. It was nice, that time to myself. I actually enjoyed shopping for clothes and I realized that I don't do it nearly enough. In the afternoon, I hung out with friends including Cedric who was back from North Carolina to visit. Had Yogurtland and ate dinner at Red Robin's. And at night, we all saw Live Free or Die Hard. It was fun. All in all, a very pleasant and relaxing day.

Saturday was Harold and Theresa's wedding. Theresa was the first real friend I met at UCI that wasn't also from my high school. She enjoys Disney as much as I do and she was the first person I knew who had an annual pass. She still does too. We used to sit around during breaks and discuss what it might be like at California Adventure, which hadn't been built yet. And she would tell me of working there seasonally and all the secrets that went on behind the park. She's just a really fun person to hang out with. In fact, my first girlfriend was incredibly jealous of her.

It was during my freshman year that I met her and Harold. So we all go way back. I remember that first Christmas we all shared together. It was at Hombre's house and it was potluck. Of course we were all poor students back then, so we were supposed to only bring cheap stuff, like ten or fifteen bucks each. Chips, dessert, etc. Well poor Harold shows up with Walnut Shrimp. Not just one order but three! I ask him why he spent so much and he laughed, replying that he thought they were five bucks a plate. By the time the bill came, it was too late. Turns out it was like fifteen each plate!

Anyway, according to their story, he had carried around feelings for her all through our freshman year, and it wasn't until the last day of that year that he finally asked her to be his girlfriend. They've been together for a better part of a decade now before he finally proposed two years ago. But here they are now, happily together, and I couldn't be happier for two of my good friends.

Both of them are Catholic and so the ceremony was conducted in the early afternoon at Theresa's church. I've never been to a wedding that wasn't Vietnamese and Buddhist, so I was looking forward to broadening my horizons. My step brother, who married a Catholic girl, also had a Catholic ceremony, but I was too young to remember much, so I was totally stoked to see all the acts and traditions first hand and in person again.

I don't know if it's a Catholic thing or a Filipino thing, but the ceremony was very formal and very long. In a good way though. Lots of "sponsors". Lots of ceremonies and little symbolic moments. Upon the start of it all, there was this girl singing this beautiful hymn accompanied by piano. Her voice resonated throughout the hall and was just absolutely memorizing. As the procession of everyone started entering the church, it all felt so monumental.

I loved the symbolism throughout the ceremony. There was this moment where both mothers lit candles, and then their children unified the two flames into a single fire. Very touching. Individual sponsor pairs then came up and draped the couple with chords and veils, unifying the two. The Father spoke about the sanctity of marriage, about enjoying the good times and working through the bad times. He spoke of how we all journey through rough roads, and during those times we must remember why we chose to love and marry this other person in the first place. What makes them so special in our eyes. Very solemn and serious, but important as well. It was stern, yet also sympathetic. If only everyone in this world were to take marriage as seriously, then we'd all be in a better place.

I really enjoyed it and I was glad I got to share in that moment with my friends. I took as many pictures I could of the happy couple and their surroundings. I must say though that because it was so formal and so structured, the ceremony lacked that little personal touch for me. Like during Playa's wedding where they were reciting to each other their own vows, or during that moment where they thanked each of their parents and both he and they broke down in tears, those moments were very heart wrenching and touching. It tugged at you. There was none of that here, like it was all rehearsed and they were following a set path that we watched as distant spectators. Still, it was a beautiful ceremony and I found myself thinking of MCAT Girl. How beautiful she might have looked. And how she's still destined to have her own ceremony one day. And it saddened me to think that the only way I would get to see her like that is from a distant corner of the church, her unaware that I'm even there.

The reception followed at this country club in Seal Beach. Filipino's sure know how to enjoy a party! And it's true, when you marry one, you marry the entire tribe. Everyone was enjoying themselves, having a good time. I ran into T whom I haven't seen since UCI. It was a little awkward but not too bad. Still, it made me reminisce and brought back a lot of memories. Some bad. Some good. All a lifetime ago. Playa and his wife also took the opportunity to let us all know that she's pregnant! Congrats Playa, your boys can swim! I still say that Playa is just a kid himself, but I'm sure they'll make great parents. The night ended with dancing and partying. Harold removed Theresa's garter with his mouth while his entire head was underneath her dress. Kind of kinky! =) And the money dances seemed like they really raked up a good amount. The two are off to the Bahamas, so that should be fun. Needless to say, I wish them the best as they embark on their new life together.

After the wedding, I took a nice long drive with the top down in the warm night air. Some of the day's thoughts were running through my mind, but most were on MCAT Girl and I just needed that hour of driving aimlessly to clear my head. I missed her and boy I wished she were there with me that night.

So what else? Hmm. I saw Transformers yesterday. I know I've been overly critical about all the artistic liberties that the filmmakers took with the original material. The changes in Bumblebee and Megatron. The omission of Soundwave and his kick ass voice. No mechanical Cybertron. And even the overtly complicated transformation processes. But let's be honest, critical or not, there was no way I was going to not watch this movie. And outside of my little nitpicks, it was quite a fun movie. Some scenes were cheesy and corny - simply not needed. But the action was crazy. If anything, it was too much! Quite draining by the end of the ride. The CG was damn impressive too, even by my very critical eye. Taken as a whole, I liked the movie, one of the better ones this summer so far. And, I have to say it now, Megan Fox is hot! HOT! How come I never knew of her before? Total guy movie indeed.

Since today was July 4th, I had the day off. I slept in, which turned out to be a really bad idea. You see, I dreamt of Kevin, Mr. Bob's Big Boy himself. It was such a weird dream too. I saw that I had a missed call from her, thinking that it was strange because I no longer had her number. But when I returned the call, he picked up. Before you know it, there he was standing in front of me, impeding my every movement in life. Since I've never seen him before, I have no idea how I knew it was him, but I guess my subconscious created him somehow. And I can't remember details of the dream now, since I've forgotten about much of it over the course of the day, but maybe it's better that way because I really don't want to think of him. Every time that I do, I get upset, cursing how some guys have all the luck, wondering how he won her heart and I can't.

After spending some time with Big D, I headed to the temple where my family was. My family is really superstitious. When my cousin recently dreamt of my grandmother, and how she told her that she was lost and couldn't find her way home, all my aunts and uncles took that as an omen that perhaps something is wrong with my grandmother's spirit. I don't carry the same beliefs and superstitions as my family, but I do know what's important to them and so I show up in support, which is more than I can say for some of my cousins. Quite disappointing. While I was there, I also got the chance to visit my dad's ashes and pay my respects.

I finished the night on the rooftop watching fireworks as I did last year. I still haven't gotten the art of photographing fireworks yet, but I think this year's picture is at least a step up compared to last year's. I should go to Disneyland and just practice. While I was up there waiting for things to start, I was able to just sit and reflect on things. I thought of how she asked me if I'm dating anyone yet. Why would she ask me that? After all this time, does she still not know what she means to me? *sigh* I sent her a happy 4th of July text today, though I doubt she ever got it. I get sad when I think of it - she just doesn't want me to be able to reach her. Nothing I can do about that I guess. To anyone reading this, hope you had a happy Fourth!