.: archives :.
 
 
Sunday, August 31, 2003
A few days ago, I wrote about love and how loving a person is much more than just being attracted to their looks or to their personality. That there's something very intangible about love. I've been thinking more and more about that in regards to rationalizing what it is about a person that you love. Is it something spiritual, an unspoken bond or attraction that is there from the start? Or is is something in your mind that builds and gradually forms into love?

I try to think about it this way. If a girl came up to me that looked like MCAT girl, acted like her, and in every way was exactly like her, but wasn't her, would I love this new girl instead? Is it MCAT girl I hold so dear or her specific qualities? A facsimile, however close, is still not the original right? What if I had met the other girl first?

And then I get to thinking, if a girl came up to me that looked exactly like my ex, acted like her, and in every way was exactly like her her (except for the problems that broke us up of course), would I be able to fall in love with her? Or would my preconceptions and memories of my ex make me unnecessarily wary towards her and unable to allow myself to feel anything for her?

When I think of both these things, I realize some part of loving a person must exist in your mind. It's my mind holding me back in both cases after all. The heart must feel the same if the people are the same, shouldn't it? In that case, can there be such a thing as love at first sight?
Saturday, August 30, 2003
Today was the release party of the new CD Waiting For You from Trish, Jacqueline Thuy Tram, and Da Nhat Yen.  The event was held at the club Live Bait near here in Long Beach, and though I'm not normally into clubbing, having the chance to see them all on stage at the same time was too good an opportunity to miss.

So M came over in the afternoon and we started to get ready, because according to the flyer, it was supposed to be "dress to impress" attire.  We then proceeded to go pick up Big D and grab a bite to eat before heading out to the club.  Originally, D was also supposed to go with us, but he called me up earlier today and said that he'd meet us there.  Obviously, he was punking us for some girl.  Sure enough, when we got there, he had brought a date.  Smooth playa hahaha.

Now the event said doors open at 9, but when we got there, we found out that no one was allowed in just yet.  People were in the parking lot just hanging out.  Eventually by 10, the lines were forming and it got pretty crowded pretty quickly.  We all just stood there in line though until they finally let us in. 
I thought this was a kewl ass flyer.
I like the blue one better.

There was this Caucasian guy in line who was there to see Da Nhat Yen.  Evidently he came from Tennessee just to see her, and I was amazed at his Vietnamese speaking ability.  He speaks better than D, better than my sister, and can probably read and write better than me!

Inside, I was quickly reminded why I don't like clubbing. Music was blasting way too loud. Too hot. I'm not all into drinking till I puke, so seeing so many drunk playa guys and nasty fake girls wasn't all that either. And you'd think that a club full of people would have some attractive possibilities, but I didn't even see anyone there that caught my eye. It was already so crowded that we had to stand the whole time. I settled down with a beer but eventually had to buy water to wash away the nasty aftertaste. So far, it wasn't going well, and both M and Big D were as bored as I was. D had his arms around his woman, so he obviously had fun =)

At midnight, an announcement was made that the performances would start in 20 minutes. We all looked at each other thinking that this would be the longest 20 minutes we've had to endure in a long time. 

Finally, at around 12:30, an MC came on stage, the music stopped, and the show started to much applause. First off, the Annamx Dancers came on stage and performed to Trish's Faith In Ecstasy. Whoa, some of those girls are hot! As the song wound down, one of the dancers in the middle took off her hood and cape and revealed herself as Trish.

All my boredom and pain of standing there tediously for hours suddenly disappeared as she came onstage and gave a rousing rendition of Only Time Will Tell, one of my favorite, if not the favorite, of her songs! Her dance moves were the same as the Asia Video which she performed, but the live performance beats anything you can see on TV! Very mesmerizing. And her singing is so much better than I imagined it would be. When I see singers like Britney "Hoochie" Spears sing horribly in front of an audience, I was worried how Trish would be. Of course, it could have been lip syncing, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. A wonderful opener.

Next, Jacqueline came out and performed Lie To Me, which has been in my head for so long now I can't ever remember not listening to it! It's a beautiful song and one of my all time favorites. Her moves were hella sensual and I couldn't help but be mesmerized by the combination of sight as sound as I watched her sing and dance. Beautiful song, absolutely beautiful person!

Afterwards, Asia 4 came out and performed a medley of songs which included Cosmic Girl, A Part of You, and several rap numbers. I was actually impressed at their rapping ability, especially when compared to other Asian hip hop bands which in my opinion suck. The girls went crazy as the guys were bouncing around on stage. I swear, no wonder I've heard such bad things about some of the Asia 4 guys. How can they help not being pervs and playas when they have so many groupies around them ogling them? Can you believe one girl actually reached up on stage and stuck her face straight into James's butt? Nasty! And Cardin and Evan were almost dragged down by what seemed like a hydra like number of hands.

Next came Da Nhat Yen. I've never really heard any of her stuff before, but my friend TR is good friends with her so I was looking forward to seeing her perform and meeting her in person. She sang Adult Ceremony, a very sultry steamy performance that was captivating. I definitely enjoyed the song and I know that both M and Big D enjoyed it as well. That girl's got moves as well as a voice too. If the new CD has more songs like this, she has a new fan.

In between performances, CD's and DVD's were thrown out to the members of the audience. D got his hands on the latest Asia DVD! I got nothing though. Arf!

All three girls then came out to sing the title track of their new CD Waiting For You. The lyrics were written by Yen and I thought they were sweet and catchy. And seeing all three girls on stage performing at the same time was amazing. I didn't know who to look at!

Finally, Trish came back out to perform Stay Awhile to wrap up the show.  It was very fast paced and energetic, and a fantastic closer to the show.  This was my first taste of seeing Trish perform live and it exceeded all expectations.  I have to go see her again!

Since the show was technically over, D decided to leave with his date while M, Big D, and I decided to hang around for a little bit longer.  Soon, the singers returned to the dance floor.  There, we caught a hold of Yen and asked her where we could get the CD. 

Unfortunately, it won't be on store shelves for another three weeks.  I already knew it was delayed, but I didn't think it was that long!  Big D asked for a pic with her and she graciously agreed.  Right after that, Jacqueline stopped by and I got both beautiful ladies to take a picture with me.  I must admit, it felt hella tite having a fine lady hugging up on each side of me!  I'm still smiling from the experience!  Both seemed very nice and pleasant and I wish it was less noisy so we could have talked more.

Trish was no where to be seen, but we decided to wait it out for a little longer.  A group of 5 girls came over and danced right in front of us, probably trying to get Big D's attention, but he was so concentrated looking for Trish, a boulder could have hit him and he wouldn't have known it! =)  After about 15 minutes, she popped back out and that's when we asked her for a pic.  And although seeming like she was in a rush to get somewhere in the club, she took the time to answer our questions about the CD and take a picture with all three of us.  That's the Trish I love, always gracious of her fans!

We finally left the club at around 2:15 I think.  So was it worth the $20 entry fee, the money spent on drinks, the boredom of waiting, and the resultant blown eardrums?  Well, the first 3 hours sucked like hell, but the last 2 and some were amazing and I wouldn't have missed it for the world.  The performances and songs were really good and well worth the time!  Seeing them made all the hardship leading up to it totally worth it!  What does that mean?  I hate clubbing and I love Trish, Jacqueline, and Yen performing.  I can't wait for the CD to be released now!  I just hope there will be some sort of signing...

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

I recently saw Solaris. After hearing many complaints about how boring this movie was, I didn't know what to expect. But despite it being 3 in the morning when I started watching it, I wasn't bored nor sleepy one bit. Quite the contrary, I found the premise of the story intriguing both in the spiritual and moral aspects that it addresses.

The main question of the movie revolves around the concept of love and the soul. What is love really? If you stop and think about it, it's hard to explain. Loving a person is more than just being attracted to their looks or to their personality. There's something very intangible about love that people have always found mysterious. I've always found it strange that a person could be attracted to one of two identical twins and not the other...

The movie asks us the question, if a loved one that died came back to you, what would you do? Sure, the person that's come back isn't the person that was lost and you can rationalize in your mind that he or she isn't the same person, but how many of us can actually be logical at a time like that? The love of your life is standing in front of you and you know it's impossible... can you still love them?

Moreover, if that person is forged from your experiences and your memories, are they the same person? Can you possibly love someone enough so that your perceptions of them are accurate? How can you rule out someone's whole existence and love for you, just because of your disbelief for the impossible?

Finally, how can you even rule out that the person standing in front of you isn't the same person you fell in love with? We as a species have never comprehended what death is all about. We can scientifically deduce things and rationalize it, but I think there are things beyond human comprehension. Some things we will never understand and were never meant to understand. Some things like the soul. The human spirit.

And so the main character is faced with seeing his dead wife again. What is she? A figment of his imagination? Some space anomaly? An omniscient alien manipulating the characters to its will by playing with their minds and emotions? And what is Solaris and what does it have to do with all this? In the end, they try to scientifically rationalize everything, but in essence, couldn't all that "energy" talk be what a soul really is? Who are we to say what is and isn't possible, for we have no idea what life and death really mean. And when given a gift like that, why fight it? For me, I had no problem seeing her as her soul returned. In essence, it was her that came back. And that just makes the story that more difficult.

Overall, I enjoyed it. The movie ends in a way that makes you ponder what really happens. And everything about the movie has a different meaning, depending on how or what you accept Solaris as really being. For that, I think the movie is way ahead of its time. Unappreciated. How else can it not do well when a movie like Freddy vs. Jason takes the number one spot at the box office two weeks in a row?
Monday, August 25, 2003

For some reason, I've been thinking a lot lately about how people always call me a nice guy. They say I'm a nice guy who will always be there when needed. Or I'm a nice guy that will one day find a girl to appreciate him. But the more I think about it, I'm not really a nice guy.

Many of the things that I do for others is not done out of the kindness of my heart but because I feel like I have to. It's more like an obligation. I feel like I'd be letting people down, or disappointing them. If it's my moral and ethical conscience that's dictating my actions, then I'm not really altruistic now am I? 

For instance, when I refuse to date, saying that I don't want to mess with any girl's emotions if I don't feel for them, isn't it really that I don't want to feel the guilt later on when I break up and in essence break their heart? 

Or when I'm always there for family, isn't it because I'd feel guilty if I let them down?

So knowing that I do things to avoid feelings of guilt later on, can I really be considered a nice guy?
Monday, August 18, 2003
I've been quite active these past few days.  My cousin woke me up Sunday morning and so I spent the day hanging out with them at one of the many businesses my family seems to own.  At night, the family had another gathering, so at 6:30, we all gathered for seven courses of beef.  Bo 7 Mon for you Viet people out there.

Afterwards, the older guys decided to go hang out together.  My cousin Sir-Spend-A-Lot really opened my eyes!  Did I ever tell you that he's the one that taught me everything I knew about the real world?  LOL! 

At 2 in the morning, we were driving around again, and decided to go bowling.  All the years I've lived here, I never knew there was a 24 hour bowling alley. 

Anyway, it was fun, but since some of them had to work the next morning, we called it the night and I came home.  I finally got to bed around 4:30 or so.

Around 9, my cell phone rang. Turns out, it's my friend TR, visiting from Seattle. Very kewl, and so I got my butt out of bed and showered and went to pick her up. I've talked to her before, but this was the first time I actually met her in person. 

For the next few hours, I drove her around town. We went to the Asian Mall, Downtown Disney, went eating and grabbed drinks, and basically just wandered around shopping. I dropped her off around 3 back at her hotel. I hope she wasn't too bored because I didn't know what to do or know of any good places to go. What can I say, it's boring here in the morning! Oh well, I enjoyed her company, hope she felt the same.

So I was on my way home when my cousin Big D called me up asking if I could install his stereo system for him.  I told him of course, and to bring all the stuff up soon and I'll take care of it.

By about 4:30, I was getting really tired from the lack of sleep.  I crashed in my bed for what must have been no longer than half an hour when my cell phone rang again.  Hearing your voice on the other end really woke me up!  It's always a pleasant surprise to hear your voice as the first thing when I open my eyes.

Later in the afternoon, Big D arrived and so I got to work on his car.  I would have to say that his car gave me so many problems, and it took me two hours what would otherwise normally only take me one.  The sun began to set and so I only managed to get his stereo and CD changer installed before I could no longer see what I was doing.  I told him to come back on Wednesday and I'd finish his amp and mount everything.  Hey, that's what family is for!

At night, I went to work out with D.  While we were there, he unleashed his fists of fury and laid loose his game on an unexpecting girl. One minute, we were doing butterfly curls, 20 seconds later D was gone.  I found him macking on some girl in the corner by the abs machine.   He tried to be kewl and play it off when I teased him, but then we all know better. 

I thought up with a new quote tonight while talking to Mi.  If I've learned anything in life, it's that life will always bring you tears.  You just have to deal with them one drop at a time.  What do you think?
Saturday, August 16, 2003

Dang dude, how many people come here to this site just looking for the lyrics to Lie to Me by Jacqueline Thuy Tram? Or Orchid Lam Quynh? And then leave in disappointment, thinking that Google or Yahoo messed up? It's here people, only in last month's entries! I guess many people don't realize that those search sites are always like a month behind, so that's why you can't find it here! If you still want to know where it is, see the link on the left that says archives? Click on it and then go to last month's entries. July 2003. Simple eh?

I was hanging out with family today. A couple of my cousins from San Jose came down. One is visiting his parents on his break from Pharmacy School, and the other is getting ready to go to USC Dental. Go SC! Everyone in my family is so health profession oriented huh? Typical =)

My cousin also brought along his fiancé, a really quiet girl. But she seems pleasant and sincere. Exactly what I'd look for in a significant other, honestly. And I sit and wonder, will I ever get as lucky?

After eating and enjoying the night, most of the adults left, and so it was only my cousins and I left. We sat around talking and chatting while playing cards in the cool night breeze of the backyard. Just the guys, the young men. How time flies it seems! I remember when we were all kids.

At about 1, one of my cousins said he rented House of 1000 Corpses, so we all decided to watch it. Horror movies are always fun in large groups. I got this idea from a friend and I told my cousins we should tape our comments while watching the movie. "Oh, don't go into that room girl! Don't go... Don't go... Aw, stupid girl went in that damn room hahaha." Pretty much the whole time, we were laughing at how sick the movie was. I swear, this was one of the most disturbing and disgusting movies I've ever seen. And what's freakier is that I know there are sickos out there just like the people in the movie. I guess that's the scariest parts of seeing movies like this. Insane.

Anyway, I was talking with my cousin up north, and he asked me how the job hunt is going. Not well obviously, and he asked me if I were willing to move up north if a job came up. Up until now, I've always been against it, especially since I've developed roots here in Southern California. He confirmed that I had a Master's and then told me the pay rate... $100 an hour. That equates to 200k a year, which is awfully tempting! I know there's more to life than money, but I can dream can't I? Besides, there's no way my resume can get me a job like that I thought to myself, but now that I think about it, what if?
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
There's this theory I have about girls and their abilities to commit in relationships. I call it the 22 Barrier. Every girl I know has to go through some life changing event where they want to go out and explore the world and to discover who they really are. And most of the time, this always happens before the age of 22. I don't know if it's just that younger girls need to mature a little more and experience life's mistakes for themselves or what, but the point is, there are so few relationships that I've seen that start at around 19 or 20 and make it past that barrier. Maybe because most of the time, girls seem to be so excited once they cross that 21 mark that they don't feel the need to be bogged down in a relationship. They just want to go out and have fun. Girls, any comments?

Hey K, thanks for signing my g-book. Long time no hear =)
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
So I finished reading The Guardian, the most recent novel by Nicholas Sparks.  My friend made the comment recently, asking me weren't all his books just the same.  Well yes and no.  It's true, all his novels focus on love.  All are set in rural communities and small North Carolina towns.  And all are quite touching in some way that manages to bring a tear to the eye and touch the heart and soul.

I always feel sad when I read his books.
But each book is different in that each deals with a different aspect of love.  We all know that love is too broad a subject, with many nuances and aspects to it.  It's never as simple as fairy tales make it.   

This novel has many different aspects of love.  The main character has to deal with losing a loving husband early on her life.  Then there's the plotline where the best friend of said deceased husband has to deal with the issue of loving his best friend's widowed wife.  True, both of them may have feelings for each other, but both are hesitant due to feelings of guilt.  And finally, there's the issue of having to choose between a person who spoils you and treats you like a queen versus the nice guy that will always be there for you.

What sets this out from the previous Sparks' works is that this is his first thriller. The book deals with a psychotic stalker, his fixation with the main character, and the results of his actions on her life. As I read the pages, it was disturbing and creepy to see how a person can become so unhealthily fixated like that. Now I know that he was insane and mentally disturbed, and that I'm nothing like that, but I couldn't help wondering am I really that different? I don't mean sitting outside a person's house, watching their every movement. Nor do I mean having hundreds and thousands of pictures of a girl plastered on my wall in some dark room. Those things are just sick. What I mean is that I can't seem to forget that certain someone who came into my life so long ago. Is that not also an unhealthy fixation? 

On the other hand, I also empathized with the other male lead very much. He was very hesitant to start anything with the female protagonist because they were best friends and he didn't want to risk ruining what they had together. How many of us know the pain of looking into someone's eyes, seeing them smile, and hurting inside knowing that you will never be able to be with them? It's an all too common pain in this world.

Overall I liked the book very much. I feel that it would make a great movie someday. However, as a romance novel, I felt it didn't hit home as some of his earlier works. Here's the big question: did it make me cry like the other books? The answer is yes, but not in the way you think. I didn't cry for the female, or the male, or their relationship together. I cried for Singer. I won't ruin it for you in case you read it, but that was the point that hurt me the most. I'll just say that the image of the two melting into one... absolutely symbolic. And absolutely beautiful.

If you get the chance to glance at it in the bookstore or whenever you're free, read the prologue. It's one of the most touching short stories I've ever read, and I'm certain that if it were me, I would have done the same thing as Jim. That part, as well, also brought a tear to my eye.
Monday, August 11, 2003
I played some b-ball with the guys the other day.  I always feel bad when I play, because I know that one, I suck.  And two, the people playing against me get frustrated at how I play.  I know they don't say anything cuz they're friends, but you can see it in their eyes or they way they look at you.  Or that frustrated gasp they let out every now and then.  And that's why I always turn down playing sometimes.  Let them think I'm lazy, who cares?  It's not worth upsetting your friends over.  Eh, not everyone is blessed with physical skills.  Oh well, I still feel bad though.

Is anyone else paying attention to this California Governor recall crap?  This is the biggest piece of bullshit I've ever seen!  First off, it's costing the state some $70 million to hold this election!  Isn't there anything better to do with that money, especially in this time of economic crisis?  Also though, why the hell are they picking on Davis?  The whole damn nation is in a recession, and joblessness is high everywhere!  If you're gonna recall the governor, why stop there?   Why not go all the way up to the top?  Impeach the President?  I swear, when will the imbecilic uneducated mass of this nation open their eyes to the shoddy way that this chimp is handling the nation's economy?  I'm sorry though, didn't mean to insult chimps like that.

Did anyone catch his speech today?  He says we should increase deforestation as a method to prevent fires!  Sounds like the anti-environmentalist I've always said he is, answering to the logging & drilling industries and private businesses.  Oh well, we've totally screwed up this planet already.  Humanity sometimes sucks.

Speaking of which, I finally saw 28 Days Later last night.  It was 2 in the morning and I couldn't sleep so I decided to watch it.  True, it's a zombie movie, and true, people have been saying it's scary as hell, but I had nothing else to do.  And besides, I was curious.  Overall, it was pretty good.  I didn't think it was that scary actually.  The movie was more like Lord of the Flies than Resident Evil, in that it was a social commentary about how people would act if governments were to fail.  Of course it was set around a zombie flick too.  But yeah, the shock factor and gore was kept to a minimum so I was grateful.  I've always liked intelligent horror over cheap scare tactics anyways.

Man, it's been scorching hot here lately!  Dang this stupid heat wave!  Not much to do during the daytime except sleep!  =)  Actually, I finally got my cover letter to my resume typed up.  The problem with applying online is that everything is so impersonal and all they see are your stats.  Anyway, I've been meaning to get a cover letter typed up so I can attach it and hopefully give a quick glance at who I am and what goals I'm looking for.  We'll just have to wait and see if it'll help.

I was rummaging through some old e-mails when I came across this old forward that I thought I'd share.  Hopefully it'll help restore some of my faith in humanity.
  • I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I'm with you.
  • No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry.
  • Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
  • A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
  • The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
  • Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
  • To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
  • Don't waste your time on a man/woman who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
  • Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
  • Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

I've been thinking a lot about the whole notion of mind games and dating.  At what point do you say screw it? 

It's always nice when your friends try to lift your spirits after a breakup.  But they're your friends, that's what they do.  It's much kewler when her friends tell you how much it was her loss.  Technically, they're more bound to her, but for them to do that, it's pretty nice.

In many ways, I'm still very much haunted by my past.  I can't seem to get past a certain someone.  I seem to focus on all the opportunities that passed me by because of my decisions over the years.  I've waited endlessly for time to heal all wounds, but in the end, I'm still sitting here waiting.
Thursday, August 7, 2003
I didn't do much today, which isn't that much different that my usual days now. I'm finally getting antsy about finding a nice job and getting my career going. I've received confirmation from several locations that they've received my resume, so let's just hope I get an interview in the coming weeks. 

Tonight, I had to drive Big D to the airport. He's flying up north to help his brother, Sir Spend-A-Lot, move into a new apartment. The guys was so funny, because when I got to his apartment to pick him up, he was still packing! We got to the airport at 8, and the flight was scheduled for 8:35 so he figured he was safe. Nope! Right when he got in line to get his boarding pass, there was an announcement for the final boarding call of his flight. I looked at him and told him to stay in line as I went to talk to someone. I found this flight worker and told him that my cousin was scheduled to be on that flight, and she told me that he had 2 minutes before the gate closed! I looked at her and said that he was in the back of the line, and asked if there was anything she could do. She sighed and told me to get him, and so she checked him in for me. Last I saw, he was running towards the gate! Lucky foolio eh?

Anyway, I used to think that his brother Sir Spend-A-Lot would be my best man if I ever got married. But since we've been apart for so long, I'm not sure anymore. I've been closer to Big D over the past years. Besides though, I don't see me ever getting married so it's not like I ever have to worry about that!

I talked to TH today for the first time in ages. We used to go to UCI together and I always thought she was hella kewl. I used to tell my ex all the time that out of all her friends, I thought TH was the funniest, prettiest, and overall kewlest person to hang out with. Before your mind goes imagining things, nothing happened! It was completely innocent. She's in a loving long term relationship already, and you know how I stand on that issue. Just goes to show you though, more proof that all the good girls out there are already taken!

She told me a kewl quote while we were chatting though...the past is not for living in but for learning from. I know that I need to take that message to heart, but why can't I?
Wednesday, August 6, 2003
I had to wake up at 5:45 this morning! Being an insomniac, you know that isn't an easy task, especially since I had only gotten to sleep a couple of hours earlier at 3. 

What on earth would force me to wake up so that I an see the sunrise you ask? I had to drive my sister and her friends to UCLA for freshman orientation. The things I do for family eh?

Afterwards, I decided to complete some errands while I was up. I got an oil change for my car and got myself a haircut, all before 10. It's really short now. Boy I was productive wasn't I? So this is what the morning feels like, eh? 

I've been thinking a lot about my ramblings. My writings. My thoughts. Someone made the point once on what's the use of an online journal? Why would you disclose yourself to the public in such an intimate way?

The thing is, I don't think I am. I only write what I'm willing to let others see, and there are things that I hold closest in my heart. There will always be secrets, many actually, that I keep to myself, actions that no one will ever know. In that sense, I guess I'm like an iceberg. You only see that small layer on top, that layer which I choose to share. Everything else is buried beneath an ocean of mystery. My defensive wall that I've set up for myself.
Monday, August 4, 2003
Man, it seems like a lot has happened over the past week, and I haven't been able to write it all down so that I can remember it again one day. I spent the weekend at the beach, Saturday night at a family get together celebrating my sister's 18th birthday, and then then there's still the Sea World thing that I haven't posted. Not to mention some weird happenings on Saturday morning that was completely unexpected. What happened to all my time? 

Actually, I had to spend some time fixing my network settings. There was a power outage at my house and I guess the surge must have knocked out my router settings because everything was reset. I had no Internet access until the matter was resolved, and then I had to go and adjust the server settings again. Anyway, hope everything's back to normal on the technical side at least.

Oh well, I'm still working on the Sea World page, because there's just so many pics. I warn you, it's gonna be big, so you people with dialup may want to open it in another window so it can load in the background! Anyway, it'll just have to wait until tomorrow because it's already 3 and I'm dead tired. Night all!
Friday, August 1, 2003
I took my family to Sea World a couple of days ago and had a complete blast.  The shows were remarkable, and they had Cirque De La Mer performing, which was way kewl.  Anyway, I took a boat load of pictures of the shows so I'll try and post them over the next few days.  I must warn you ahead of time though, I look all thug like! =)

So I was browsing online today when I came across this list of things that a "sweet" guy would do, care of E.  Did I fall into that category when I was dating my ex?  Let me see, my comments in red...
  • Know how to make you smile when you are down. Isn't this a given?  Everyone should do this for their loved ones!
  • Try to secretly smell your hair BUT you always notice.   I love holding a girl in my arms and smelling her scent.  It's so loving and intimate.  What could be sweeter?
  • Stick up for you but still be respectful of your independence.  A relationship must have respect!
  • Give you the remote control during the game.  Ok, not sure about this one hahaha.
  • Come up behind you, put his arms around you, squeeze you tightly against his chest, and whisper softly into your ear.  I always do this, and I find that you girls don't actually like it all that much!
  • Play with your hair. There's something very sensual about running your hands through another person's hair.
  • His hands will always find yours.  I preferred holding hands in public more than my ex did!
  • Be cute when he really wants something.  I'm into Disney and toys, how much cuter can I get?
  • Offer you plenty of massages.  I give one hell of a massage!  Strong hands you know =)
  • Dance with you even if he feels like a dork. Yes girls, I do dance.
  • Never run out of love.  If anything, I've been accused of having too much love, of being too much of a romantic idealist.
  • Be funny, but knows when to be serious.  But of course.
  • Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious.  I'm always funny, people tell me so.
  • Be patient when you take forever to get ready.  I may find it annoying, but it's nothing to get mad over.
  • React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.  IONO, I've been told I'm adorable =)
  • Smile a lot.  Yes, I do.
  • Plan a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally do just because he knows it means a lot to you.  I've done that so many times now I've lost count! Heck, I think I did it every week!  Arf!
  • Appreciate you.  My girl is usually one of the highest priorities in my life.
  • Help others out.  But I always try to be there when others need my help.
  • Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.  Not only have I done that, I've driven around aimlessly just to spend some time together.
  • Always give you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each other's company, even when friends are watching.  At least a peck, if not more.  What's wrong with public displays of affection, as long as isn't all nasty?
  • Sing even if he can't.  I love singing. I've always wanted to duet with a girl.  But my ex never wanted to.  Arf!
  • Have a creative sense of humor.  I've always stressed that creativity is more important than intelligence.
  • Stare at you.  I've been accused of staring too much.
  • Call for no reason.  I used to hold the phone next to my ear as my ex went to sleep, for no other reason than to be there with her.
  • Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs just because he loves you enough to quit!  I don't have those bad habits.

So what does that tell me?  Out of the 26 so called requirements, I met 25, and maybe even the 26th one as well.  And what happened?  My ex still cheated on me.  For a playa and a jerk to boot.  That just proves it... you girls don't know what the hell you want out of a guy! =)