What can you get a baby for her one year old birthday? I want something memorable, but I'm kind clueless right now.

What a weekend I had. I'm talking blast to the past here. First off, I got the Transformers Season One DVD set. I don't know how many of you grew up watching that show but seeing those episodes again is like reliving my childhood. Next, I went and grabbed myself a McRib. McDonald's used to offer this on a daily basis but for some reason they stopped and only offer it for a limited time basis now. Following that, M and I decided to play some videogames and cards, just like in high school. And just like in high school, I kicked his ass! Heck, i kicked it so hard my footprint's still there, hehe! Finally, I cleaned my room and organized all my old pictures. Isn't it funny how you look over the years? Actually, I pretty much look the same, but everyone around me has undergone so much!

Speaking of pasts, today is the 10 year anniversary of the LA riots. I remember 10 years ago, and I was just a freshman in high school. Kids were stupid back then, and all my friends and I could think about was how the riots might get us out of class or how we should go see what it was like. Idiotic huh? I didn't really think about the reasons for the riots or their consequences at the time, but as I see the videos and stories again, it's heart breaking. It was bad enough with the whole beatings that led to the riots, but it was worse because it ended up being innocent people that were hurt. Sometimes I think life is especially cruel. The endless cycle of violence never seems to end.

On another subject why is that minority businesses are typically rude? Take Asians for instance. I went to S.W. the other day to pick up some Kung Pao chicken. The hostess there is so cute! But man, she was rude. No smile, no please, no thank you. And then a group of friends and I went to eat Dim Sum and the waiters and waitresses barely help you. I can't explain it, I mean after all, aren't we paying for service here?

So while eating, we see this Vietnamese girl, strutting around in the tightest top. D, otherwise known as "hot workers" guy noticed her immediately of course, and his eyes remained popped out of its sockets for the duration of the meal. Now get this, she must have been a D, maybe even a double D. And it was so obvious that they were fake, because her proportions were so disproportionate. Why would a girl do that? I mean so you attract attention, but don't you realize that everyone knows you're fake? Personally, having breasts that large aren't appealing. I mean, it'll take two hands just to hold one! I prefer the average size anyway. Besides, there's the overall beauty that you have to consider, not just a person's bra size.

I have a headache. It must be all this stupid thinking lately. I don't like thinking. It gets my brain overheated!

I had three dreams last night. One was intense, another was scary, the other was strange. Let's start with the intense. I was sitting with my entire family watching something, must have been some home movies. Well, then someone says something, and then I start flipping out. Now I can't remember the exact words, but it's along the lines of me going back to Medical School. I guess that was the straw that broke the camels back because I started screaming and yelling how nothing I ever do makes them happy. I can remember the tears rolling down my cheeks and how I could hardly breath. That's when I stormed out.

Which leads into the second dream. All of a sudden I found myself driving, and M was there with me. We must have been on one of our late night cruises around town. Only this time, it wasn't through any known areas like the hills we usually go through. Instead, it was near the beach, and must have been near a river or something, because I remember losing control of the wheel on an invisible bump in the round and veering wildly to the right. At that instance, I grabbed the wheel and stopped with half the front of the car leaning over into the river! I manage to reverse out of there and then all of a sudden, the back half is now over the river on the other side. Somehow we escape and manage to get to some strange house. Inside, we run into another fried. Might have been Andy, but it's all so vague now. It turns out it isn't any of our houses. We're breaking and entering! When we realize this, we hide and then make a break for it, taking off wearing the wrong pair of shoes. I remember because M was pissed he left his shoes behind!

So if that wasn't weird enough, here's the last one. I must be really vulnerable or something because I just had another dream about L last night. I was in the hallways at school. It was the end of the day, and I was ready to go home. I always take the stairs down the 4 floors, because it's the only form of exercise as a CS student I can get! Anyway, as I'm approaching the long hall leading down to the stairs, she comes out of one of the doors. Like always, she's with a guy, I think it was Pretty Boy. So now she's in front of me, and she doesn't know I'm right behind her, literally 5 feet so that I could have reached out and touched her if I wanted. And then I notice her outfit. She's wearing a blue Rinoa Sweater. I'm taking bright blue. It's my favorite color and as such it looked amazing. And though I couldn't see in front of her, I knew she was wearing a cream/tan dress, like one of those business women suits. The thing I remember is that I saw her legs, and more particularly her walk. It's not often you see any skin in CS, so a girl in a dress is bound to stand out! Anyway, the thing is, the legs were so smooth looking! I know her, and there's no possible way they're that smooth! So I have no idea where that image came from. Anyway, I continue walking right behind her and then I'm hit with a choice. At the end of the hall, there's the door to the front leading to the stairs or a door to the left leading to the labs. She turns left and walks in. I silently walk through the front door and leave, and she never knew I was even there.

So, is that symbolic or something? Oh yeah, it was that point where I was woken up by some loud talking!

Expansion of yesterday's topic. If we're all modules, Take in input=food. Produce output=crap. Virus that disrupts all activity=girls! Good one M!

So I ate lunch at the student center today. It's like a breath of fresh air every time I'm there since there's not really any girls in Computer Science. I think I can name all the potential girls in there on less than one hand! So sad so sad. Anyway, Z and I were there eating and some guy starts hitting on her. I still can't believe how often she gets hit on! Maybe it's because we're such friends that I can't see her as anything more, but for everyone else, they envy me! Is that weird? It's true though, that the majority of people I know in the Computer Science Department are female. And often, if there's groups, I'm usually in an all girl group.

That points to one of two possibilities. One, I'm a total mack daddy and attract girls like crazy. And we all know that ain't true =) So therefore we must conclude the second possibility, that they realize my skills and want in just to get the good grade. Luckily, I'm pretty good enough to win them over with my goofy charm so that we become good friends!

Let's take L for instance. I'm sure she sees me as a path to a higher GPA. Like a personal tutor. And I'm sure she's noticed all my little toys here and there so that she must think I'm well off financially. After all, I am from Irvine, right? Finally, there's the status. I'm smart enough to go to Med School but choose not to, and then I just rip through CS as easy as tying my shoe. I'm not the typical punky Bolsa Boy, Big D wanna-be guy that hits on her all the time. In fact, I usually don't even give her the attention she's used to. I guess that must kill her! So, is she interested in me for me, or is she interested in me more for external reasons and because I intimidate her? And don't you always want what you can't have? Kind of mysterious don't you think?

Being in CS all the time really screws with your head. After all this time, you start thinking in computer terms. You even dream about code. So for instance, take the meaning of life, our purpose in life. Is it just to reproduce? No, check this out. In essence, we're all objects. Modules really. Self containing units. And like all modules, there is a purpose to it. To take in input and to produce output. What is our input? Food. What is our output? Crap! What that reduces down to is that our sole purpose in life is eat and crap!

I saw two USC license plates today. Signs are still coming!

So I saw L today after class. I was on my way out ready to head home when I saw her sitting alone in the labs. So being the fool I am, I went up to talk to her. Nothing long and winded, just said hi and wondered why she was there all alone late in the evening. I said good bye and as I was walking out to the car, I started thinking that she definitely is responsive to me. In fact, I'm sure that if I had asked her out at that moment, like to dinner, she would have accepted. I even think that she was hoping I would, but for some reason I was held back. What was holding me back?

There I was with the ball in my hand, at the top of the key, and it would have been so easy to score. The basket was wide open, the size of an ocean, and I knew I couldn't have missed. I couldn't have missed if I wanted to. I was so sure that I could score the shot, so why didn't I drive to the hole? What was holding me back? Was it the tall Catholic center waiting there to block my shot? Was it my couch M on the side yelling at me not to drive? Or was it my knowledge that I wanted a 3 pointer, that I needed a 3 to win, and therefore I couldn't settle for a lay-up?

I saw 4 USC license plates today. I'm telling you, it's a sign. If a certain someone would just give me my damn $1000 and let me do what I have to do, then all will be well.

Weird thought: Why is that when Spiderman takes off his mask, his hair's all puffy? Shouldn't it be flat?

I remember when my pet hamster died. I cried like a baby! Keep in mind that I was like 21 at the time, so crying isn't a thing that I do often. But I do get sentimental at times, and I find that I have this huge soft spot for animals. In fact, I tend to feel more for animals than I do for human beings in general. I guess it's because human beings are so inherently evil that we're bound to kill each other some day. Animals, however, are innocent victims of humanity's impact on the world.

I remember when I was still dating my ex. I used to take her to Woodbridge lake near my house and just feed the ducks and watch the birds fly by. Once in a while, we would go to Laguna Beach and feed the squirrels. I manage to get those little guys to trust me so much that eventually there were eating right off her knee! And who can forget rabbits? There's this area near UCI that's infested with little bunnies. Just watching them would totally cheer me up when I'm down.

My love of animals is what made me quit the whole medical path. As an undergraduate student, I had to drill a hole into the head of a rat and inject dopamine into it's cerebellum. It totally screwed up its motor skills. The same for frog dissection, where we had to snap their spinal cords before operating on their muscle tissue. I did manage to save some fish that we were acclimating though, and now, 5 years later, I'm happy to say they're fatter and more content than they ever were in some cold lab. And when I was working in the Pathology department at UCI Medical Center, I had to conduct research on mice, subjecting them to all sorts of cruel tests. And when the projects were over, it was up to me to euphemize them. I would feel horrible at the end of the day that I finally decided I couldn't take it any more. Aren't humans cruel, especially when they try to justify the torture and taking of life for some academic purposes, as if it were a game?

It's a funny sign of cultural differences. At an Asian restaurant, the atmosphere is loud, and it's pretty much everyone for themselves. At this banquet however, the majority of people followed the rules and waited their turn before getting up and being served. Of course there were quite a few exceptions, but overall it's very different than the usual. I'm glad I'm "fobulous" so that I can blend into whichever culture I'm at. Like they same, when in Rome, do as the Romans!

I ran into an old friend today while I was at school getting my award. I had lost her e-mail when classes ended last year, and I it was cool to see her again. Of course I apologized and explained to her what had happened and how I lost it. Anyway, she was sweet, and she gave me it again, and this time, I'm not going to lose it!

Remember a while back when I was describing that girl that I knew that was desperately trying to lose it? Well, it turns out that she's been successful. When asked how it was, all she said was that she liked it and it was nice. Now I'm wondering, was it actually worth it? Or is she just feeling relieved to get that pressure off her shoulders? My question is where are all these girls? I never know anyone like that! Maybe just around me, they're all innocent and stuff, because I'm just a friend instead of a potential roll in the hay. Who knows. To each person their own.

Have you ever noticed then when you're alone, you really alone? But the minute you're interested in someone, or that they're interested in you, then there's a whole line of people trying to get your attention? I find fate funny that way. I guess that's why they call it Serendipity.

What's with a girl that looks beautiful, but then all of a sudden busts out a cigarette and at that moment I stop noticing her? It's happened before. It happened today. It will happen again.

He was telling me that the girl likes to stay home, hang out with friends, watch movies, and read. Pretty simple stuff, and to me, she seems perfect. The type of girl I would love to be with. But to him, she's boring and no fun.

Through the course of the night, all he could talk about was how we should be looking for hot girls, or that I should be dating more and that my school is full of hot girls, or that some talent show he went to is full of hot girls. Notice the trend here? All he seems fixated on is "hot girls." At the end of the night, I was craving some dessert, so I said lets go grab so ice cream, like at Dairy Queen or Cold Stone. He replied that there was no ambiance at those places, and that we should go to Tapioca Express, because they have hot workers! Am I the only one that is sick of all this hotness? Sure, I want to be with an attractive person like everyone else, but there's way more to a girl than how hot she is! Sheesh!

I picked up a copy of the new Asia Entertainment Video "The Soldier" today. It's basically a music video, interlaced with a documentary type narrative about the Vietnam war, in particular the personal soldier stories. If any of you are, or understand, Vietnamese, then you should definitely check it out. The stories are so sad, and the images are extremely powerful. It shows that war has no real winners, and just makes the situation today look so much more horrid. Isn't it bad enough that this world has so much suffering, that we need to be killing ourselves and causing more pain?

On the video is of course Trish. I love her. Yep, love love love. Much against the typical male stereotype, I have no problems with the word! Anyway, many people were worried that she wouldn't be able to handle it in such a heavy video such as this one, but I never lost faith. And I thought she did a great job. Her singing is great, the dance and outfit are cute, her eyes glitter and twinkle, and she has the sweetest voice. The song is a simple love song, but I absolutely adore it. My aunt went to a concert that had her as one of the performers recently. She told me that Trish was last on stage, and by then all the elderly were tired and left, so that she was pretty much performing to an empty audience. My aunt felt so bad, and upon hearing, I felt so bad for my Trish! I should have gone! I would have stayed till the end and then given a loud, thunderous applause to show my support! Damn school, always getting in the way of important things!

You may all know that I've met Trish a few times already. She's the sweetest person in real life. Not cocky or stuck up like most celebrities. She's very down to earth, always willing to talk to you and always ready to smile and take a picture with you. Her interests are always so humble and never over the top, and I wish her the best. *Sigh*, I'd kill to get a girlfriend like her! By the way, I think she's Catholic too!

I saw this girl while hanging out. She wore a Buddhist necklace, and my friend told me, "Hey, she's Buddhist. Bust out your necklace man!" I wear one too, but I thought that would be way too obvious. Anyway, she was very cute, and didn't seem too wild. She was there with a bunch of friends, but for some reason, I didn't feel like approaching her. I'm still too emotionally drained to start a relationship at this point. Besides, you know what I've learned lately? A girl usually says something just to get her own way, and it's hard to know what she really wants. Once again... prissy! Yep yep, A is still mad at me, and as each day passes, I'm growing more and more angry with her. If she doesn't apologize, at this rate, I could care less if I never talk to her again! Some friend huh

Congratulations to Vid Girl for getting into UC Berkeley too! Much better than UCI =P

You know what I always wondered? What's with Asian Pride? I understand how a person is proud of their culture and their heritage. But honestly, there's no control over who you are. I didn't consciously choose to become Asian. So can you actually be proud of something that's out of your control? And even so, what about those punky ghetto boys that have no job, no education, and no real purpose in life except to drink, drive around, and mack on girls? Why are they uttering the phrase Asian Pride, when they have no accomplishment to be proud of? Thus, I tend to focus on who a person is, what their actions and beliefs are, and how they live their life, before I make any judgments. Yes, I'm proud to be Asian, and yes, I'm proud to be an American, but I'm also proud of the man I've become. How easy it is to stray as you grow up, but it's a testament to your upbringing and those around you if you grow up to become a good person.

So to finish off today's rather touchy subject, I like jokes. Heck, I'm a goof. I always make wise cracks and see the humor in most situations. Like I said yesterday, I cracked up because of how screwed I was. Therefore, I don't take things too seriously. Anyone read the What type of Asian Are You e-mail that's been going around? I'm a Foboulous baby! I like a good joke as much as anybody, but the shirt below is going a little too far. It reinforces Asian stereotypes too much. We are not all Chinese named "Wong". We do not all wear pointy grass hats and pajamas. We don't all own a business. And we don't all have slanty eyes. This shirt is from Abercrombie & Fitch. There's a movement going around to boycott them. Though I'm being optimistic and hoping that whoever made this shirt just had a lapse in common sense, I doubt it. So, choose what you will, support them or not. It's up to you. Personally, I never bought anything from them anyway, and there's no real reason that's going to change anytime soon.

Question of the day: Ladies, would you rather date a tall guy with a very short you know what, or a short guy who was very well endowed?

So I decided to continue my discussion on hoochies. Notice anything about the girls to the left? They're what I would deem hoochie. Now before I go getting any flame mails or whatever, I must state that this is just the pure superficial aspects of a girl. When it all comes down to it, if you don't have a great personality and friendly nature, and if I can't get along with you, then you're unattractive to me no matter what! And of course, like all things, there are exceptions out there, where some girls may dress hoochie, but are really great. Thus, this is just a generality. So, to continue, girls who dress or act hoochie don't attract me. They may get me to notice, but what I'm really noticing is their clothes, or lack thereof. After the initial second of interest, I tend to ignore them.

Now, take the two girls below. I don't even need to look at their figures. I love their smile, their hair, their eyes. To me, these girls are pretty and they would be the type that I would be attracted to. And after talking with them, if I find their personality right, then they would be girlfriend potential. On the other hand, I don't ever see myself dating the two above. Any questions?

I got severely ass raped today in school! I had studied quite intensely for my Advanced Operating Systems midterm. Now I'm usually pretty good at school, especially in Computer Science. Pay attention now, I didn't say that I'm a smart student, or that I'm a hard worker. I'm not even a good student; I sleep in class! It's just that somehow, something always clicks and by test time, without studying much, I do quite well. I feel kind of bad sometimes, because I know there are those that study 10 times as hard as me! But if I ever study, and I mean sit down and actually concentrate to the point my head boils, then I usually know all the material. So today, with half an hour before the test, I felt pretty relaxed. And then the professor came and handed the midterm out. I took one look at it and thought to myself, "Damn, I'm screwed!" Literally half way through the time, I just started laughing to myself because I had no idea on how to do over 75% of the test! Of course, everyone I tell this to doesn't believe that I'm capable of doing bad. Like once during this semester, I thought I failed, and prayed for a 40% on my midterm. I ended getting a 69%. Although I was quite relieved, I was still disappointed because I thought I had failed. That is until I found out it was the highest in the class! Hell, I was so surprised, although no one else was. So you see, my luck has already happened once this semester. The chances of it happening again are worse than me meeting Cutie #2 in person! My 4.0 is in serious jeopardy this semester!

So Z and I were talking and she asked me if I would ever date outside my race. Of course, I have nothing against any race in particular. It's just that if I date, I need to have something in common, maybe share some interests. And usually, it's easier to find a person who shares your same view within the same race. So it's not to say that I wouldn't date interracially, it's that the situation doesn't present itself that often. If I ever found a girl that I could match with well, I would date her, no problem. Heck, all throughout high school, I had the biggest, and I'm talking BIGGEST thing for this Caucasian girl. We were friends since elementary school, and I always liked her. Too bad she's married now!

That being said, we all know that inner beauty is more important. I find that I'm attracted to the more traditional qualities in a girl. I don't like hoochies. I make fun of my sister's friends for flaunting it so much. Mean, I know, but I don't see why a girl would want to walk around with half her ass sticking out from her shorts. I mean do you really want to attract attention from those types of guys that would ogling? I like simply, classy, comfortable. To me, a noodle string dress, or a cute pair of overalls will do much more for me than a thong. I'll be honest, the thong may catch my attention at first. I'd be lying if I denied checking out girls, but that's natural. And what's more, it usually doesn't serve to hold my interest forever. Whereas a girl in a noodle string will manage to catch my attention over and over! Maybe I'll post comparison pictures sometime, between a girl I find beautiful and a hoochie I don't find attractive.

The same thing goes for makeup. I prefer natural beauty over fake beauty. I mean if I say a girl is pretty, and she isn't wearing any makeup, then she'll likely to look even more beautiful with it on. On the other hand, if a girl is sort of pretty with makeup, then what happens when she takes it off? You don't want to wake up and go "Whoa, what the hell?" Besides, natural beauty is 100 times more appealing that fake beauty, because it shines put from the inside! I don't think L has natural beauty. She definitely has the figure, but she only catches my attention on certain days, or with certain outfits. But beneath all that, the inner beauty, I can't see it. Maybe with time, but not yet. MCAT girl, I remember her well. It was breathtaking how beautiful she was, and her makeup only served to highlight that. In fact, there were days where she was sick or where she thought she was breaking out and looking nasty. I always saw beyond that and thought she was beautiful, inside and out. *Sigh*... time to move onto another subject

Why are people so damn lazy nowadays? I saw a driver park, then reverse to go to a parking spot that was two spaces closer. Come on, I understand if you were still driving and chose the closer one, but why reverse when you're already in. And for two mere spaces? Can we say lazy? Such a B! And what about those that actually sit and wait for a spot? I understand waiting during peak hours, like noon where parking is a rare commodity, but at 8 in the morning? Park the damn car and walk you butt the extra 50 yards! B!

You may have noticed that the links aren't all active yet. I'll try to update them when classes start slowing down around finals week. As it is, I should be studying for an Advanced Operating Systems test, but for some reason I can't get started. I know why, I'm a lazy ass!

Shouts out to my main man M and his online bunny buddy K! He's a HTML wiz, not some student like me, and you'll see how a real site's supposed to be done!

I can't believe I woke up late today. That's the way it is in college for me. No matter what time my first class is, I always oversleep. My first year, I had a class at 8 in the morning. Late. By my junior year, class at 11. Late. My senior year as an undergrad, my earliest class was noon. Still late. And now as a graduate student, my class starts at 1:30. Somehow still late. I'm worried about next semester, when my earliest class is 3! But you know the weird thing? If I work, I'm on time. What is up with that? I guess when I'm getting paid, I show up, versus if I have to pay, I ditch. Actually, it's all my own fault. I love reading. Something about being in a faraway place, taken away from the reality of the world that I so enjoy. Especially nowadays, where people are so ready to kill one another for the simplest things.

I feel in the mood for some junk food. Krispy Kreme glazed donuts, ColdStone fresh made ice cream, Chocolate Dipped Cone at Dairy Queen, and topped off with a nice Pineapple Snowbubble at Tapioca Express. Can anyone say "Grace"?

I've been asked recently where are all the cutie pictures? If you've browse my site before, I tend to scatter pictures of cute girls here and there and I usually post a joke or two once in awhile. It's just that with school lately, the site's redesign took quite awhile, and so I haven't had time to look for any qualifying cuties =) Don't worry, I'll be back to my usual self in a week or so. In the mean time, enjoy!

Congratulations to Vid Girl for getting into UCI! Although I think you can choose a better school =P

I was talking with Z today about my situation. I wonder how many people would still talk to me if I wasn't so good in Computer Science? For example, would L even know that I'm alive if I weren't able to help her so much? I wish it weren't so, but sometimes I think I only attract the attention that I do because of my ability and not because of me.

So L wore her red Rinoa sweater today. I absolutely adore that shirt! Have any of you played Final Fantasy 8? Of course, you wouldn't be Asian if you didn't even at least know about that game. Remember Rinoa's long flowing sweater? Oh I love that girl! That's the in style nowadays, and I see all sorts of colors: blue, tan, black. But L is the first person I've ever seen wear red. Very attractive! It was kind of funny, because she said I made her nervous. Why on Earth would I make anyone nervous? Most people say I'm a big cute loveable bear type guy. Then again, I used to make MCAT girl nervous, and we all know how that turned out! Anyway, a lot of guys are obviously infatuated with L, including Big D, but M says she's responsive to me. I have absolutely no idea what to do with her! Pretty Boy was with her today, and it's obvious that he doesn't like me. I guess it might seem like I'm trying to invade his territory.

Have you seen Two Can Play That Game? There's this line in there that says all the girls that at the clubs at night, "backing that ass" are the same girls at church the next day singing "Hallelujah!" I thought that was hilarious! M brought up this question one time. Isn't premarital sex frowned upon in most major religions, Catholicism included? What then was the purpose of Forty Days Forty Nights? I mean if he were truly a righteous person, then he wouldn't be having sex at all, right?

So while we're on the subject of sex, let me admit it. I'm a virgin. I see no shame in that. Unlike some people, I'm not out running and looking to lose it. There's this girl I know who's out to lose it. According to her, she can't stand being 23 and being a virgin anymore. What's up with that? What would make a person so desperate as to just go out looking for any guy to jump in the sack with? In fact, she got mad at this guy for actually stopping! Has she no self respect? I think sex shouldn't be taken that lightly, but then again, I'm probably the only guy on this planet with traditional views anymore. Don't get me wrong, I don't look down upon it or view is a sin or anything. I'm not puritanical! Quite the contrary, I see it as something special shared between two people, that's all. I'm not against premarital sex, I just feel that it should be special and not just a social event. I guess that's why I'm still waiting for the right girl to come along. Considering that my ex's cheated on me, I'm glad that nothing happened between us.

I've always dated younger girls. My first girlfriend was 2 years younger than me. My latest ex was the same. Now 2 years when you're both 40 doesn't really matter, but back when I was 17 and she was 15, that was a huge difference. What do I see in younger girls? Should I go for older, because after all they would be more mature right? The girls I know now are about 21, which is still a couple years younger than me. I guess I can't find an older woman that interest me.

I must say that girls nowadays are becoming more and more hoochie. Or high maintenance. Or both. We all know what the Hoochie Spears phenomenon has done to 7 year olds, but have you noticed how younger and younger these girls are being spoiled? I saw a girl today, couldn't have been more than 10. She had on a leather jacket and the hair was all styling, nails done, etc. What happened to being a kid? When I was 10, my cousin and I were busy trying to beat Super Mario Bros. on the Nintendo, not out trying to attract the opposite sex! Well, not totally true, but we weren't all prissy like that at least! =) I must say that a girl like that, at such a young age, will likely break many hearts when she grows up. I guess girls are just trained from an early age to use and hurt guys, so that it's in their nature! That's all I have to say about that.

Afterwards, I went over to my aunt's house where the family was having a get together in memorial of my grandfather's passing. Buddhists pay respects to their ancestors this way, to show that we will never forget them and that they will always be in our hearts. Some ignorant people like to say that we "worship" our ancestors. My answer to that is...what happens when someone dies? You go to their funeral, you put flowers on their grave, etc. Is that worshipping? No. It's merely a sign of respect. Now say, every year you go to the grave and offer flowers and fruit. Is that worshipping? No. We don't view our ancestors as gods. Our yearly memorials are just that, a sign of love and respect, and that we will never forget what our family has done for us. Personally, I think that's a great thing. It's one of those great family values that are becoming so rare in today's society. For those people who don't understand, there's no reason for me to try and convert them.

So M and I went looking for a big screen HD television today. All was well until we went into The Good Guys. Now I can't say exactly what happened, because it happened so fast, but as we stood there checking out the new plasma screens, some old salesman, maybe the manager, casually walked by and mumbled something like "You're not going to be able to get one of those", referring to the $24,000 price tag. He walked off really fast, and M and I just looked at each other wondering if what we heard was true! Now that fucking pissed me off! Who is he to say what I can or can't afford? Even if I was some punk kid who really couldn't afford it, it's no place for him to go around saying that. I didn't work my butt off these past ten years to be belittled by some no name bigoted salesman! I had a good mind to go find his supervisor. In fact, I wished he had said it louder and not walked off, so that I could have made a scene about it right then and there! Get all the customers in there to see that they were buying there stuff from a racist imbecile. And then, just to piss him off, I'd wave my money and credit cards around as I walk out the door saying "Not gonna get this!" Ignorant people like that really piss me off, and M started laughing when I was going off. That's right, I'm usually a mellow guy, but don't get me pissed off because you'll have to feel my wrath! So, boycott The Good Guys and tell them that the Insomniac was treated poorly there!

I guess I'm just not in the mood to be played with right now. J called me up and said A was mad at me. I asked for what? He said that A was upset with some picture that he took of her when she made a face at a party on my digital camera and because when I got the camera back, I didn't erase it. Just back that up I said! If she's mad, let her be mad. What kind of friend gets pissed at something trivial like that? After growing up since high school together, if she lets something like a goofy picture upset her, then I welcome it. What kind of friend is that anyway? She can apologize to me about being so trivial and prissy when she's ready. Otherwise, I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. No more mind games, I'm too old for this crap.

Reason #1... I don't trust them. My ex cheated on me. My first girlfriend cheated on. My friends have all been played by girls. My cousin was dating this girl who openly admitted to others that all along she never pictured being with him. She always knew she would end up with someone else. How screwed up is that? If I ever find a girl who I think is sincere, then maybe, but otherwise all the girls I see now are too fake.

Reason #2... Too prissy. Two years ago, I would have done anything for the girl I loved. If there was something that I could do to make her happy, I would. My friends have told me that I'm too nice, that they could never date a guy like me, because I would make them feel like a horrible person. So what does that mean? They would rather go out with a jerk than with me! So basically, I'm too tired of it all. I'm too emotionally drained to put up with a girl who gets pissed that I'm not home, or that I like to stay up late. I like not feeling obligated to always be there to help and solve all her worries. In other words, I'm too tired to subject myself to such prissy demands, especially since no girl is that worth it now.

Reason #3... Too high maintenance. I'm a college student. Worse off, I'm going for my Master's Degree. You know what that means? I have to pay for everything! So when I have the choice to eat a normal meal in the $5-10 range with my friends, or spent $50 for a dinner where she won't even eat half the stuff on the plate, which do you think is more reasonable? And don't forget the usual holidays, birthdays, and not to mention spontaneous acts of affection like flowers and stuff. Admit guys girls, you know you're high maintenance. Every girl is high maintenance. Some may be higher than others, but you all are high maintenance. Because if you weren't than you would be satisfied with what you have and not always wanting more.

Still, with all these reasons that I try to make up for me to remain single, I still find myself noticing girls. And here's the dinger. All the girls that I've been attracted to have turned out to be Catholic. I'm a Buddhist by the way. Now don't go thinking that I'm prejudiced or whatever. If it were just me and her, then I would have no qualms about dating and even marrying a Catholic girl. But what about family? What about our kids? Who will have to make the sacrifice and give up their religious beliefs? I know that if I loved my girl, I wouldn't want to force her to convert, and I wouldn't want to convert either, no matter how much I love her.

Years ago, I met this girl and we started getting to know each other. Over the course of a few months, we just grew closer and closer. In every way, she was everything I was looking for in a girlfriend. If soul mates are even possible, then she just might have been mine, except for the one fact that she was a Catholic and I'm a Buddhist. I basically stopped it before anything could happen, and in a way I've regretted it ever since. I regret it still.

Have you ever stopped to wonder, what's more important? Should I settle for a Buddhist girl that isn't Vietnamese, or just look for a Vietnamese girl that isn't Buddhist? I guess all this doesn't matter now though, because I'm not getting married =)

Girls who flaunt cell phones really piss me off too for some reason. Since when did a person's status become directly proportional to the size of their phonebook stored on the phone, the size of the phone, or the sheer number of blinking lights? I once saw a girl with two phones, one in each hand, and she was holding them out like they were remotes, kind of like tuning forks that were leading her to water. Girl, you succeeded in catching my attention. Not cause of your phones, but because you look like an idiot! What happened to the good old days when a girl can catch your attention with just the mere smell of her perfume?

Idiots are those who leave their cell phones on in class. One ring is bad enough, but to keep letting it ring and pretend it's not yours is just stupid! Sometimes I just want to shut it of for them, I get so pissed! Hell, I'm sitting in lab right now and one just went off!!! Can't you recognize your own phone going off, especially if you're the only one with a complete customized rave song set to play at every call? Please...

Speaking of labs, the technicians at my school are idiots. If the technicians and network administrators are a measure of a school's computer science department, then I'm screwed cause we must have the dumbest/laziest/most perverted techs on earth. I don't know what these guys do all day or even how they're getting paid to do what it is that they do, but my five year old cousin has more productivity that most of these guys. There's Big D, who likes strutting around the labs, with whole pack of Bolsa boys around him, checking out chicks. If you don't know what Bolsa boys are, check out The Fast and the Furious. Yep, every Asian in there is a Bolsa Boy. Anyway, back to Big D. He stares. For 10 minutes. At the same girl. I hate to think what's running through his mind, or other parts of his body! This guy will literally mack on every girl in the department. Keep in mind that this is computer science, and the pickings are really numerous, but for some reason, he'll locate every apple on the tree, rotten or not.

Then there's the food inspector. He's actually supposed o be network specialist or some other crap like that, but what his job boils down to is walking around the labs every half hour or so and making sure there's no food. We're collegiates, not babies. I think we know how to eat or drink without spilling on these computers! But then again, we're not even smart enough to add paper to the printer by ourselves without approving it with them first. So any time there's a paper jam, we have to trudge all the way down to the tech room, inform them of the situation, and then wait at their leisure for the printer to get paper, which takes quite awhile. They're probably busy checking out porn. Or if it's Big D, he's probably busy checking out the girls on the lab cameras. Heck, adding paper to our accounts takes two business days, according to them, so who knows. We're computer scientists. We know how to add paper to a damn printer!

Even the nicest guy in that room still has his eccentricities. He wears no shoes. Ever. I thought it was just in the tech room, but I saw him on the street once. Bare. Saw him at lunch. Bare. Saw him in the men's bathroom, which is plain smelly and wet. Bare. Okay then...

But the winner has got to be their method of helping new students. They don't want you to approach them. Instead, you're supposed to send an e-mail to tech support. What fucking genius came up with that solution? The whole computer just crashed and I can't get on the computer. I see, let's e-mail tech support! Geniuses...

My friend asked me yesterday why do I bother coming to school. I don't do any work, and I rarely stay awake during class. You see, being an insomniac forces me to sleep during the day. Yesterday, as usual, I fell asleep in my Advanced Operating Systems class. And I know the professor would love to grill me out or something but she can't cause I have one of the highest grades in the class. I remember one of my undergraduate courses. I slept all the time, and I knew the professor wanted to talk to me about it, but she couldn't. I had the highest grade in the class by a huge margin! I had several of her classes, and the results were always the same, so she retired without ever saying a word to me =) So she just let me be, and I slept through the semester. I guess I absorb while I sleep, how else can I explain my grades?